Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A DIRTY JOB

Wednesday, Chuck hooked up the trailer, loaded "Wolf," and headed for New Mexico.
He's become a professional "trail rider."
The week before, he busied himself hauling tons of dirt into the barn yard and paddock, "to fill those holes you wanted filled Roni!" he justified; further instructing, "All you have to do..."
The truth of the deal? He just loves playing with his life-sized Tonka Toys!
OK. OK. I confess though. After 6 years of grading the paddock, I managed to drop the dirt level next to the concrete slab... about a foot.
Also, there were big holes behind the shop, making the simple task of pulling weeds treacherous.
Specially if you're old, like me, and never practiced the fine art of hanging onto the "straight up and down" side of a slippery dirt cliff.
Last summer, my calls "help, help" were for not, as my attempt to pull that last damn wild carrot weed darn near threw me into the seep ditch.
"NEVER AGAIN CHUCK!" I hollered!
"NEVER AGAIN will I put myself into that position! What if I'd slid all the way in, and the swift irrigation flow carried me down stream, through the woods pasture and dumped me into the Platte River where I'd go over the dam and end up back in Nebraska where I started!"
"You get something in there now!" I ordered The Chuckster.
So Chuck "Played, and played, and played...and Boy did I have FUN!" for a week.
His toys were scattered all over the farm.
Dump truck here, Backhoe there, Small loader over yonder, Big front loader in-my-yard!.
I couldn't back the car out the garage without hitting a cone that let us know, "There's a BIG fork there!"
Barbie Tractor tried digging in, but it was simply too big a job.
She kept over-heating, then finally dug in her little tires, coughed and apologized, "I can't Roni. Get Big Fordie. He can do it."
Chuck put a grader blade on Big Fordie and left farm, saying, "All you have to do is......"
Men always do that.
Don't they.
Men think we women are, "All you have to do is...." people, whereas THEY are, "Come! Look what I did! I did a BIG job today! It was HARD and took ALL day!
But I have one more thing little thing to do. With your help it'll only take a minute, because "All you have to do is...while I ....."
Then it's always something that involves going at least 50 miles with a flat bed, a few chains, baling string and a tarp.
Farm boys don't have a concept of time. So their requests generally begin around dusk, and you don't get home until temperature's dropped at least 20 degrees, you're frozen, dinner's burnt, and you're too dang tired to eat anyway.
You just want a Bud Lime Lite while catching Glenn Beck's midnight show.
So yesterday, I hoped on Big Fordie and started on the barnyard pile.

In the foreground of the "Before" picture, you'll see the deposit "Wolf" left before loading for New Mexico.
This is the "After" picture.

The Paddock picture...well I tried to level that dirt, but, Fordie's tire (see front right) was going flat, and he just couldn't make the sharp turns required without crashing into the barn.
Besides, that blade is that, "Chuck! I thought I told you I won't use that blade because it drifts!" and makes 12 inch drops off concrete slabs.
So - I quit with the barnyard (as you'll see in the "After" picture).
I'll wait for Barbie to get re-tuned. For she, with her cooperative blade and pleasant demeanor, does "finishing work" the way every woman does "finishing work." Perfectly. :-)
Stay tuned.
There's a MOUNTAIN of dirt in a swill in the woods pasture Barbie, Fordie and I have to smooth out next.
That's OK. After all, "All we have to do is..."
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COMMENT


I just loved reading about how your day went. You have such a natural gift for writing. I can picture exactly the scene you are describing. You really need to write a book about your life and your experiences.
The video that you sent showing how a Norwegian gets his tractor unstuck was simply a joy to watch. http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2011/how-to-get-tractor-out-of-mud-p1.php
It gave me chuckles for the rest of the day, while I was super cleaning the house. My 2 sons were out of the house, actually out of the state, as they went up to Oklahoma to visit some friends. This was the perfect time for me to do all the jobs that I normally don’t do, as I am constantly being interrupted, or they ask me, “Do you have to do that now?” look on their faces.
I thought of those Norwegians and said to myself, "this is how an American would solve this problem."
An American would take his cell phone out of his pocket, and dial his closest neighbor and ask him to bring the big tractor, chains, and the whole 9 yards of equipment as you so clearly described in your description of what Chuck asks you to get for him when he asks you to do one more little thing for him.
Now this would break down into another category, depending if you are a Northerner, or a Southerner.
A Northerner would bring all that you would require, and then some, because you never would know what the weather could bring on in minutes. He would come and pull you out with his big Tonka tractor as you called it, then he would wave you good by and be on his way as he has lots to do while the sun still shines. This was before someone invented those big lights on top up the tractors that they have now a days.
A Southerner would come and then sit a while and decide what the best course of action that could, or should be taken. Then the matter is discussed for a while, along with the price of cotton and other essential matters. After a long discussion and the agreement as to what is the best course of action is to take, they would hook up the big tractor and pull your little tractor out of the hole. And of course the little tractor guy would invite the big tractor man to come to the house and have a cup of coffee and a nice slice of pie, as his wife was baking that morning. The type of pie would depend on what fruit was in season. This could be in the spring, or it could be in the fall, as both seasons have their respective problems of too much rain, if you are lucky to have any rain at all.
After shooting the bull for awhile, drinking more coffee, the big tractor guy would decide that there was not much sun shinning in the sky so he might as well stay for dinner, and before you know it the moon is raising over the horizon and you are still discussing this and that before the big tractor man ducks out of your front door, and waves you good by, saying, ‘It was sure dumb of you letting your little tractor get stuck that way. You should have waited till the ground was a little drier."
Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?
And that is the difference between a Northerner and a Southerner. The Northerner knows because of the climate he has just a small window of decent weather, and to him there is no difference between the two opposites, as it all has to be done whether it is decent out or not. A Southerner can take it a little easier because he knows that if he waits long enough it matters will soon take its course and the sun will shine again.
Now that Norwegian did not need the EU, European Union to tell him what to do, how to do it, when to do it, if you can do it, its permission to do it, he just went ahead and did it. I wish that we had more guys like that Norwegian in our government. He just saw a problem and went ahead and fixed the problem, and went on his way.
Loved reading you stories Roni, and I salute you in all that you do. You did a fine job in cleaning out the paddock! In spite of all the difficulties that you had you managed to get the job done somehow with cheerfulness and laughter. Laughter is the best medicine we have that we can share with others.
Yesterday after my sons came home from Oklahoma, they were telling me about their friends neighbors Great Dane that comes over to visit them. The Great Dane was so big, that when the dog leaned on you to pet him, he could almost tip you over, he was so heavy. Then they mentioned that they also have a pet bull. A pet bull I asked, who would have a pet bull? How big was this pet bull? Well it turns out my son was talking about their friends pit bull, not a pet bull.
Just one little letter can make such a big difference in telling a story. Like members of congress, just one little letter can make a whole lot of difference between this and that.
Love Colleen
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UPDATE
So later, I tackled the mountain of dirt Chuck piled in the woods.
That's him in the front loader:


And then Big Fordie and I came in a smoothed it all out.
Here's the "After" picture.

The End! :-)

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